Saturday, August 3, 2013

Long time away

I am not a great story teller it seems.  I am committed to telling it though.

Pregnancy vs. Adoption, my take. 

When you are pregnant, you are given a due date.  It is a general time frame of when that baby will be born.  It can vary a couple of weeks either way.  But by, say, 43 weeks, your baby will be out of the womb and part of your physical family.  From my understanding/viewing, pregnant ladies do get quite tired, uncomfortable, and ready for baby to come near the end of the pregnancy. 

When you are adopting, you are given a time frame as well.  Each step of the way is actually given an "average" time frame.  There can, however, be a HUGE swing that makes up the average.  You could be 2 months, or you could be 22 months.  And that can happen for each step.  Added to the mix is the fact TWO governments are involved in the process ( enough said!) and at least a few agencies, in two countries.  Days off, holidays, laws, political unrest, other families adoptions, finances, all play a part in this balancing act we are engaged in.  All these factors, and more, make it impossible to pin point a "due date".  Even allowing for a month allowance either way, it can't be done.

And that can be difficult, at best.  'Cause we have a sweet almost 12 year old boy who belongs here.  In our house. In his bedroom with his brothers. Loving parents having blessed him and kissed him goodnight.  Not in a cottage with 31 other boys and one caretaker watching over them.

This is our 4th adoption.  I have learned a few things along the way.  I handle having a son living on the other side of the world the best I can.  I got lost at times when we were waiting for Jet.  Leaving my "here and now" life wondering how my son was, what he was doing, when we were going to be able to travel, researching hotels, airfare, adjustments, etc.....I have 3 beautiful kiddos in the here and now!  Who are rather rapidly growing, maturing, changing into tweens and teenagers.  I can not blink or get lost.  I will miss too much. 

So I have to compartmentalize. I think about #4 EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  Let me make that perfectly clear.  He is prayed for in our morning devotions before we start our day. He is prayed for in my daily prayers.  I think about him whenever planning school, for every holiday, birthday celebrations, family get togethers, when purging clothes, toys, books, when buying new clothes, new get the idea.

But I, just like you, have many things I need to fit into each day. And for the last almost year, with each setback, problem, hiccup we have had, I have not been able to expand more mental energy on things like blogging about our boy.  It causes me to focus SOLELY on him and the fact we are really NO closer to have an idea of when we will be able to hug him.

It makes me wish we were financially well off.  The kiddos and I would be living in Thailand hanging out with #4 every day.

So I couldn't blog. But now I need to, so I will.  Hope you enjoy his story. 

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