Thursday, November 28, 2013

Giving Thanks

Giving thanks......Thanksgiving.....that is what today is all about.  It is about stopping our fast paced lives to take at least one moment and reflect on the blessings we have been given.  Hopefully spend at least some of the day surrounded by the blessings of family and friends.

I have many many reasons to give thanks.  I have been blessed beyond measure.  I have a wonderfully generous, understanding husband; beautiful children entrusted to me by my Savior who died for me so that I may have eternal life. I have a community of friends around me who support my family in every way needed.   I have a home, warm clothes, money to pay for utilities, no need to ever feel hunger, 2 cars, a bed with blankets and sheets....

Yet today, on this day of Thanksgiving, I find it difficult to completely surrender to the spirit of thankfulness.  I CAN NOT move past the fact it has been 2 years since we found out a boy who had been on our hearts and minds for years needed a family.  And he still isn't here.  He is now a boy/child rapidly turning into a man/child.  He is without the love of a family, comfort when he is sick, he feels the pangs of hunger, has never experienced unconditional love.....And I have personal knowledge of what this does to a child. Times 3.

My patience in the process is depleted.  I desire to step over the political lines to champion for my son.  Mama Bear mode is rising.  And though I am thankful to BE a Mama Bear, it isn't always the most fruitful mode.  You know, when Mama Bear could interfere with adoptions for ALL people...not just your own.  Mama Bear is best kept at bay.  But I don't always feel that to be most fruitful for my "causes".  Like my son's well-being.  It's a merry go round my brain just simply can't shut off. 

So it leaves me with this......There is a child missing from my table of Thanksgiving today. And for that, I can't give thanks.  No parent can or should.

But that isn't real life.  So I WILL give thanks for my FOUR children and rest in the knowledge it is all in God's hands.  Please hug and kiss EVERY single one of your children.

Happy Thanksgiving~